


The Lion and the Wolf

by arlathma



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dragon Age: Inquisition Spoilers, F/M, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Romance, female oc - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-02 05:11:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8652244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arlathma/pseuds/arlathma
Summary: Lavellan hasn't been the same since Solas left. Her sleepless nights lead to weary days. A piece of her has died. A shadow stalks her. A commander stands with her. Hearts long, change and a choice must be made.





	1. Like Fire - A Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Untitled](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/243424) by Lothlenan. 



> As noted on my tumblr (thehyrulegem.tumblr.com), this is a fan fiction based off Lothelnan's Solasmancer comic and siriusdraws' comic Sleep With Me (http://siriusdraws.tumblr.com/post/131689737985/sleep-with-me).  
> Special thanks to r/solasmancers and r/cullenmancers for the support and directing me to this website.

When he was there, he made her feel like fire. Silver and gold. Like the old and the new. Like she was the beginning of something. He made her feel alive. So when he left, a bit of her died. 

 

She would spend hours walking the grounds of Skyhold, trying her best to keep her mind busy. After the final battle, people began to go their separate ways. Cassandra, now head of the Chantry, moved to her own headquarters and began to rebuild the faith from the ground up. Varric went back to Kirkwall with Hawke and worked with the newly reformed school of mages to rebuild what was lost. Blackwall officially joined the Wardens and quickly rose in their ranks. Iron Bull spent half of his time working jobs with the Chargers. The other half was spent in the tavern. 

 

Some remained for good, however. Josephine stayed, regardless of the fact that many called her insane for trying to run the Inquisitions foreign affairs while also running her own household. Sera would slip in and out of the hold, often found in her loft above the tavern. Cole stayed close by the Inquisitors side, a constant watch on her emotional changes. And then there was Cullen. He stayed in part to continue commanding the remaining forces but also to keep an eye on things. Specially Lavellan. 

 

Many of the troops came up with rumors as to why she wondered the halls so late. 

 

“It’s that thing on ‘er ‘and that keeps her up. It glows more at night ‘cause the fade is bigger then.”

“No, no, it’s her dreams of all the darkspawn she’s slain. She’s basically one of those Gray Wardens now.”

 “You all have it wrong. It’s because of that elf.”

 

Only a few had it right.


	2. Just For Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visitor arrives. But only for a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As mentioned above, this is based off of Lothlenan's untitled comic (https://tmblr.co/ZEDYNk26seU1a). More chapters are on the way. Feedback is appreciated but not necessary! I'm just happy that people are enjoying my work and I'm writing again. Enjoy!

He was as broken as she was. But he couldn’t allow that. The fade was a wide, open world full of possibilities. In the past, that had excited him. A lifetime to spend fixing what was broken, finding what was lost. Now, the fade felt much smaller. 

The spirits of Love and Compassion often avoided his path. Partly because they knew who he was but also because he carried a darkness with him. One that they couldn’t hope to understand. 

He was, however, a creature of habit. Although common sense should have kept him away, he could not resist. He would use the eluvians  
to find his way back to Skyhold. Each step he took into the dark courtyard caused a sharp, tight grip around his heart. He longed to see her but he knew he had to keep his distance. 

The best place for him to find out what she had been up to was to find Cole. He and his spirit friend often met in the Fade to discuss the goings-on of the world. And although he would try his best to avoid the topic, it always came back to her.

He leaned cautiously against the walls of the courtyard. They were cold to the touch, a cold that one could not find within the fade. 

“And she’s been pacing?” He asked, turning to the boy who sat beside him. 

“She paces, back and forth. Night after night. The pain. It rings in her ears but also deeper.” Cole stated. 

Solas nodded to himself. “Her mark is growing,” his gaze turned back down to the floor. “I can save her but…”

“You cannot truly save her from all her pain.” He said plainly. 

“Not all, but some. And if that’s all I can do, I shall find out how to do it.” Solas pulled himself away from the wall and moved towards the main hall. As he made his way silently up the stairs towards her chambers, Cole appeared before him.

“You're hurting yourself,” he said before vanishing again. 

Solas brushed this off and continued up the steps. The sun was almost rising. It was almost time to go. But he needed to see her.

He fade-stepped to her bedroom. She lay there sleeping. Shaking and writhing. It was clear her dreams were becoming more vivid and that the mark was causing this. 

He took this opportunity to lean in close and, in a sort of whisper, he breathed sound into her dreams. “Vhenan,” he said softly, like a prayer, “sleep now, without pain, just for this night,” a bright light encompassed her body and soon, her twitching stopped completely. Her breath came to a steady tempo. He smiled and placed a small kiss on her forehead. His eyes, heavy and sad, dragged themselves away from her to the window. “This may be the last time in a long time I shall see her,” he said, partly to himself and partly to Cole who he was sure was watching. “But she can always find me in her dreams.” And with that, he vanished.


	3. Falling Slowly

Cullen’s nightmares had returned. His twisting and turning had thrown him from his bed and on this night, he was through trying to force himself asleep. He threw on a pair of pants, pulled a tunic over himself and rushed from his room. He couldn’t stand the sight of his bed any longer.

As he began his walk through Skyhold he noticed a dim, warm light coming from the main hall. Someone was using the fireplace by Varric’s old writing desk. He raised a brow as he climbed the stairs, only to find the Inquisitor, bundled in blankets staring into the fire. 

“Most people usually read or something in front of a fire,” he said, coming up from behind her. She was startled at first but as their eyes met, she relaxed. 

“Most people are usually asleep at this hour, Commander,” she said, a small smile crawling onto her face. 

“And yet, here we are.” He pulled a chair up next to her in front of the dying flames. The warmth from them barely reached his bare feet. “Can’t sleep either, I take it?” He asked, turning towards her. 

“No, not for a while, honestly.”

“Is it because of… that?” He asked, gesturing to the green, glowing crack on her left hand. 

“It certainly doesn’t help,” she said, chuckling. 

“It looks like it’s getting…”

“Bigger. Yes. And more painful. And… other things.” 

Cullen felt a twist in his stomach. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“What’s keeping you up, Commander? Writing too many fan letters to all of those women in Val Royeaux?”

“The letters I’ve been receiving would make great kindling for the fire,” he spat, crossing his arms in front of himself. “It’s the nightmares again.”

The Inquisitor turned her attention to him, her eyes flickering in the light. “I thought they were getting better?"

“They were. And then they weren’t.” 

She nodded, allowing the sound of the crackling wood to fill the space. 

“Well, you can usually find me here around this time. Perhaps, if your problem consists, you can stay here with me.”

His body perked up at the idea of this. 

“I think I would enjoy that. Perhaps I can finally beat you at a game of chess?”

“We don’t have all the time in the world, Commander. I will die eventually,” she joked, her face scrunching into a smile.

“Not if I can help it,” he said, smiling back towards her.

— — — 

Weeks passed and soon, the two became regulars in the hall when all others were fast asleep. Cullen finally beat her at chess, she was finally able to learn some card games that she had never even heard of while with her Clan, and the two of them grew closer, both as friends and proximity wise. As the fires grew smaller, so did the space between them. 

One night however, the pains were too much for her to bare. She sat in her chair, knees close to her body, fighting back the tears. 

“One more round,” she said, trying her best to hide this from him. She grabbed the stack of cards in front of her and began to shuffle as best she could. 

He was keen, however. He could finally read her well enough to know when it was getting to be too much. 

“I think I’ve had enough losing for one night, my lady. Wicked Grace never was my game and I’ve run out of buttons to bet.” He smiled towards her but found that her eyes were focused on her mark.  
"You should probably get some sleep.” He said, rising from his seat.

All at once, the Inquistor rose from hers, dropping the cards on the table, and took a step closer towards him. "Come to bed with me.”

Cullen was frozen for a moment, his cheeks growing with color as the seconds passed. “I, uh. I-“

Suddenly, her own cheeks began to grow a deep red.

“No! No. I don’t mean- No. Not that. I mean… Neither of us will be sleeping well if we go back to our own beds. Maybe two sleepless people can make one… sleepy person.” she struggled to piece together the argument as she spoke and soon came to an abrupt silence. She looked up at him, causing a different, warmer feeling for both of them. 

She reached out her hand and placed it in his, pulling him towards her chamber. Obedient and somewhat stunned, he followed. 

As they made their way into the bed, they slipped silently under the covers. For what felt like hours, they avoided eye contact while still facing each other until finally the Inquisitor slipped into a shallow sleep. Cullen smiled as her eyes fluttered closed. He wanted desperately to pull her closer, to feel her warmth against his but he kept his arms by his side. He remember who she may have once shared this bed with.

A few hours had passed when Cullen was suddenly torn from his dreams by the sound of painful moans. To his right was the Inquisitor, gripping her arm and wincing. She spotted him out of the corner of her eye and tried her best to fight the tears. 

“You should go.” she said sternly, pulling her arm closer to her chest. 

Cullen sat up quickly and shook his head. “No,” He said, unable to bare watching her like this any logger. “I should stay.” he placed his arms around her and pulled her in close. She shook in his arms for a few moments until finally, her pain faded. What was left was her pressed closed to his chest his chin resting on top of her head. 

Her eyes peaked up at him as they pulled apart. Both of their faces grew a familiar pink. Cullen suddenly leaned in and placed a small, almost secretive kiss on her lips. Her breathing stopped all together until he pulled away. Unsure of himself, and the entire situation, he laid back down and rolled over onto his side. 

He lay waiting, worried and nervous about the scolding he was sure to receive in a few moments. Waiting to be kicked out of the warm bed. Instead, he felt her arm wrap around his waist and pull him close.

This was their unspoken secret.


	4. The Winter Palace

When they arrived at the Winter Palace, when he had heard about the situation, Cullen was filled with worry, confusion and anger. He and the Inquisitor had not discussed what had happened that night. It was only a few days later that they set out for the Palace. Their nights between then were spent alone, most likely in contemplation, if he had to guess. 

But when he heard that they were hunting a follower of an old elven god, he began making wild guesses in his mind as to who may appear. 

He wasn’t sure what upset him more; the idea that Solas would have the audacity to infringe on an Inquisition mission or how it would effect the Inquisitor if they were to encounter each other. 

It only took a few days for him to get his answer. 

He arrived at the battlefield later than her. He rushed as quickly as possible to where he spotted them running from the camp. Iron Bull’s horns were hard to miss, even from the forward camp.

But, he arrived too late.

There she was, wrapped in his arms, her mark glowing and glowing until suddenly there was a loud burst. For just a moment, he could make out their lips meeting. After that, her body collapsed to the ground. Blood began seeping from the spot where her arm used to be. 

His eyes grew wide a he rushed to her, stopping only a few feet away. 

“What have you done to her!?” He shouted, as Solas lifted her in his arms.

“I saved her life.” he stated bluntly, his own eyes unable to draw themselves away from her. “She will survive. She’s more than strong enough. Get her to a healer quickly.” He walked towards Cullen, holding her tight in his arms.

Cullen stood completely still, shock working its way through ever muscle. Solas slowly approached and placed her body in his arms. 

“Commander,” he said softly, “I leave her in your care.” He pulled his arms away from her body and turned his back to him. 

“You left her!” Cullen shouted suddenly, pulling her in close. Solas stopped in his tracks. 

“I had no choice-“

“No. You left her when she needed you most. You disappeared. Now you take her arm and leave her again.” 

Solas shook his head and began walking forward once more, waving his hand to activate the Eluvian. 

Cullen, however, was not finished. He took a brave step forward. 

“If you ever loved her, you would at least tell her why,” he spat, eyes narrowing.

Solas spun on his heels, shouting in elven, eyes beginning to glow. “Never question my feelings for her, Shemlen. I do what I must to protect her. Can you say the same?”

Cullen wanted to draw his sword, to defend her honor. To stop him. To make him explain. But the feeling of her warm blood on his arm shook him from any of those fantasies. He turned and walked quickly away. 

Iron Bull was shouting at Cullen as they picked up speed. Sera was spewing curses. But those all faded to a loud buzz in the back of his mind. His only focus now was to save her.


	5. The What Ifs

Hours began to feel like days as Cullen sat outside the healers tent. Beside hims at Josephine and Varric, sharing idle chatter, trying their best to stay calm and collected. Cullen, however, was visibly shaken. As he passed her off to the healers, their expressions were grim and no words were exchanged.

His heart sank in his chest. All of the ‘what ifs’ were circling in his head; what if she never woke up? What if she lost too much blood? What if she’s lost her arm for good? 

He nearly jumped out of his seat when he master healer emerged from the tent. He had sweat on his brow and showed clear signs of exhaustion. It had been hours since anyone had stepped foot outside. 

People began to gather round, attempting to get an earful of the Inquisitor's fate. The healer turned to Cullen and Josephine.

“She’s alive,” he said, a slight wisp of relief leaving his lips, “but she’s lost a lot of blood. She’ll need weeks to recover from this. Months, even. Her arm is completely gone from the elbow down. Not much we can do about that…” He trailed off for a moment, his eyes darting from face to face. He looked strained to find any good news in all of this. “She’s alive,” he repeated, running his hand through his hair. She’ll probably wake up in a day or two.” 

The wave of emotions that crashed through the group seemed to shake their knees. Josephine was crying, Varric was uncorking a bottle of whiskey. Bull was smiling, telling his Chargers that he expected no less from her. “A little cut like that isn’t going to take down he Inquisitor,” he bragged.

Cullen, however, was a mix of everything and a thousand other things.

His swirling pot of emotions came to a sudden halt as a cry came from the tent.

“No! You can’t- you need to rest-“

The tarp of the tent suddenly swooshed to the side as she stepped out into the light. Her eyes were sunken in, her body was wobbling with each step but she stood tall. Broken but still ready. What immediately drew everyone's attention was her missing arm. All in attendance struggled to tear their eyes away from what was missing. She ignored their gazes and marched onward.

Everyone stood in amazement as she made her way towards the council room. 

The pot began to swirl once more as her body disappeared behind the huge door. He was overjoyed that she lived. He was terrified for her current health. He was surprised by the range of reactions around him. But most of all, he was angry. A firey rage burned in his gut. The same feeling he would get before a particularly important battle. If Solas loved her so much, why would he leave her like this? 

This question haunted him the entire way back to Skyhold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. Thank you all so much for the positive feedback and views. I am so happy that you guys are enjoying this short story. It's almost done. Only two more chapters, most likely. But this ship dynamic isn't dead yet. I could honestly write about them forever. Expect more fan fiction in the future. I'll happily take requests as well, for people who want stories about their inquisitor and ships. Feel free to message me on my tumblr.


	6. Wake Up

“I must be stronger than this,” he murmured, gritting his teeth. He stood before a massive mirror, its glow illuminating everything around him. This was a familiar mirror to him. One he had passed through many time. One he promised to never pass through again. 

He was always terrible at keeping promises. 

He tried to convince himself that he needed the piece of mind which came with this journey. He needed to know so that he could finally rest and prepare. When actually, the only thing he needed was her. 

His steps were light and swift on the cobblestone floors. The usually creaky stairs leading to her chamber fell to small whispers. He sensed Cole but took no notice of him. Finally, he arrived at her side and his gut twisted.

Before him lay a woman he recognized. Her hair was spread out on the pillow, her lips sang to him in a song of desire and need. But she was tired. She was missing pieces of herself, both physically and in an echo he heard though the fade. The more he listened to the echo, the more he heard her call. 

‘I can be with her,’ he thought, ‘only at a distance.’

As he slipped into fade, he hid himself among a foreign forest. This was her place; a safe place that he would not taint. 

He saw her, walking through this dream, her head tilting left and right. She was looking for something. He followed like a shadow, trying his best to keep out of her sight. But this was all for not.

She turned towards him, her eyes piercing through his as a sharp breath entered her. Her skill in navigating the fade had increased since he had left. She had spent her time reading, researching and practicing, if only so that when this moment came, she could seize it. He was foolish to believe that she wouldn’t find him. It was all she could dream about these days.

“It’s you,” she said, softly, her breath finally escaping her suffering lungs. He approached her but before he had the chance to determine a safe distance, she sprinted towards him, throwing her arms around him. This startled him, at first, but the electric force when she touched him brought him into the moment. 

This is what finally broke him. Not the sight of her. Not the need for her. But the fact that she came to him. And he could no longer resist her. 

Their lips locked, gentle at first but soon, the kiss grew more and more passionate. It had been weeks since they had last seen each other. Since he took her arm away. Since he placed a curse on her world. But this kiss held the pent up passion of ages. 

She took full advantage of this moment, moving her lips down to his neck and pulling him closer to her. The animalistic side to Solas was struggling to keep himself from breaking anymore, from unraveling any further. 

As she continued to lay soft kisses on his neck, a soft smile crossed his lips. “I hoped you avoid your sight. Silly of me to doubt the power of your mind.”

“Silly of you, indeed,” she smiled, pulling away to meet his gaze. She could feel a burning in her chest as his pale green eyes shimmered in the supernatural light of the fade.

“I tried my hardest to resist this. To resist you. It seems no matter how far I stray from the path, it always leads me back to you.” Slowly, his own smile began to fade. His eyes hardened. His brow furrowed. “That is why I am sorry for this, Vhenan.”

Her eyes grew wide as she felt that burning in her grow colder and colder. 

“Please, don’t. Just let me stay here with you, just for a few moments longer,” tears began to well up in her eyes as she pulled him close for one last, desperate kiss. She hoped for this to be an anchor, something to keep her there in that moment. But when he suddenly tore himself away and pulled her close, there was nothing she could do.

“Wake up.”

In an instant, she was shaken from her slumber. Her heavy breathing echoed through her chamber as her eyes darted frantically from left to right. She needed to find him. But through all of her searching, she found only that she was alone. Her gaze turned to her left arm and she felt the sting of what once was. 

She sobbed into her blankets, releasing all the hurt that she was left with. 

She had no way of knowing that he stood at the foot of her bed, watching each heaving wail.

He pressed his hands to his face, seeing the fruit of his interference. ‘No more,’ he thought, his ghostly figure swaying with his own uneven mind. 

He was reminded of a time where her dark dreams could be soothed by his kisses and his warmth. Where the nights she spent in tears were never lonely. 

But those were simply memories. Now, she had to be alone. Because to be alone meant safety from him and the world he sought to bring. If only for now. He turned to her and whispered softly “I can give you this sleep once more, if only as a memory of what once was… what could have been.” 

As he turned his back to her, he could hear her sobs gently fade into whimpers, until finally, she was back to sleep. “Ar leth ma, ma vhenan,” he whispered, “May the Dread Wolf never hear your steps again.”


	7. Echoes

Solas lingered a little too long that night. He missed Skyhold. It was home to him, for a short time. It was one of the few places he did not suffer the constant itch to venture. He felt steady here. As he made his way towards his old quarters, he heard the echo of familiar voices.

“You know, I didn’t think you’d ever beat me at this game, but lo and behold.”

“I’ve had a fair amount of practice.”

“Yes, yes. You’ve told me all about your late night rendezvous,” Varric laughed, pouring himself more wine, “or, at least, as much as you’re willing to.”

Solas stepped into the room, shrouded by shadows. He made his way up the stairs and rested himself upon the banister. Below him sat Cullen and Varric, drinking, a chessboard between them. Both men were clearly a few drinks deep, slumping in their chair and straining to keep their focus on the game.

Cullen’s eyes scanned the walls. “This mural,” he murmured, “it’s about her, isn’t it?” He furrowed his brow, turning his attention to the glass in front of him. 

“It’s missing some things. Not my kind of storytelling. Too much pastel.” Varric chuckled, taking another sip before resetting the board. 

“She hasn’t been in here since he left. When we would walk the hold, she would tense up the moment we got close. I wouldn’t dare bring her here. It was quite a pain, actually. We’d have to take these long detours.”

“I doubt spending time with her was a pain at all to you, Curly.”

Cullen grew silent for a moment. Solas was unable to tell if there was a blush upon his cheek or simply the wine.

“She said one of her favorite places to go on our walks was Undercroft. There’s this beautiful silence down there. It’s a cave, for all intensive purposes. But even without the sky above you, it gives you one of the most beautiful views. Her face just lights up whenever she sees all of those stars on the horizon.” Cullen paused for a moment, his lips curling into a small smile.

“I know that face.” Varric scoffed, making a move on the board. 

“What?” Cullen shoulders raised defensively.

“The face you’re making. That’s one every storyteller knows,” Varric teased, smirking up at Cullen.

“I’m not making a face,” Cullen stated bluntly, trying his hardest to keep his facial expressions from changing whatsoever. 

"That’s the face of a man in love. It’s as old as time itself. And it never changes.”

“I’m not in love,” Cullen protested, his eyes darting quickly to the board as he made his next move. 

Varric smirked as he captured one of Cullen’s pieces and continued.

“She loves him, you know.”

Solas perked up a bit as he heard this. 

An awkward moment of silence grew between the two men. Varric took a long sip from his cup as his eyes peaked up to Cullen and then quickly down at the board. He cleared his throat after he swallowed.

“Loved him.” Cullen corrected, making another move. “He left her. He abandoned her when she needed him most. She deserves better than him and she knows it. She deserves-“

“You?” Varric interjected. This must have caught Cullen off guard because his next move was fatal for one of his pawns. 

Cullen collected himself and sat back, wine in hand. “I could be there for her. I could do so much better.”

“You do realize your competition is the living incarnation of an elvhen god, right?”

“I don’t care what he is. I care about her. I’ve seen her at her lowest. I’ve held her and kissed her and let her know that she was safe. That’s what I care about and I’ll continue to do so until the very end.”

The room grew still. A sickening stillness that all present were caught in.

“Kissed, you say? Curly, have you been keeping secrets from me?” Varric teased, playing his next move.

Solas’ grip on the banister grew tighter. There as a stinging pain in his chest. Jealously? No, it was something much worse. 

“It was one kiss. And- we-… We haven’t… talked about it. And it’s not like it was… I don’t know. Maker’s breath.” Cullen’s cheeks grew a deep red as he rubbed the back of his neck, eyes down. 

Varric chuckled to himself, leaning back and propping his feet up on the table. “What did I tell you. Man in love. Also, checkmate.”

Cullen’s eyes darted back to the board. He let out a long sigh as he leaned back in his seat. “Varric, may I ask you something?”

“Depends on if I want to answer.”

“If I told her, do you think… do you think we could…” He trailed off for a moment, trying his hardest to put the words together in his mind.

“Something tells me we should put a cork in this conversation. And this wine too." 

“I’d do anything for her. And I want her to know that.” Cullen proudly stated in a moment of clarity.

“Seems you’ve answered your question, Curly.” Varric smiled, swinging his feet back down tot he ground. “Now help me clean up this mess so Ruffles doesn’t throw a fit tomorrow.”

Solas had heard enough. He pushed himself off the banister and made his way down the stairs. 

When he reached the eluvian, he activated it. He gave one final gaze to Skyhold. He knew this would be his final goodbye. 

To Skyhold. To the Inquisition. To her. 

Normally, when he walked in the world through the fade, he felt a certain lightness. Like he was a ghost. 

Now, there was a weight inside him that brought him down to the soil and made him feel like he was going to sink into it. 

This weight did not come from jealousy or hate.

It came from knowing someone else would love her better than he ever could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find more at vhenan-d.tumblr.com


End file.
